I am here to make a confession: I have a problem. I sometimes read the anonymous comments posted after news articles.
I know.. I know… I shouldn’t do it. I don’t know why I do. It’s like watching a train wreck.
Today, I was lucky enough to be quoted by Eric Burkett in an article over at Delish about the Budweiser National Happy Hour that’s going on this week. Despite the tone of the article, and the fact that I apparently take beer drinking “veddy, veddy seriously” (I honestly have no idea how to take that), I was pleased to see that he’s actually lending my opinion some credibility. So.. thanks, Eric! That was really cool.
And then, like an idiot, I read the comments.
Many are on the same side as me, which is nice to see. Of those that are not, there appears to be a prevalent feeling. Let me see if I can sum it up in my best anonymous internet commenter voice:
OMG I CAN”T BELEEVE UR ARGUING ABOUT FREE BEER!!11 A HUGE COPMANY IS GIVING U SOMETING FOR FREE AND UR COMPLANING! YOU MUST BE STUPID!! LOL11
Or, as one commenter put it, “But here are a couple of facts SMART %&*$#, MAN UP, its a free beer.”
And thus, I have a response, and because I just got back from the dentist, and I’m not a big fan of dentists and they always put me out of sorts, you get it with profanity.
(Mom, you can stop reading right here.)
Here is a fact, smart ass: You didn’t cite any facts.
Read the fucking article. Nobody’s complaining about free beer; we’re pointing out that this is a marketing gimmick from a company that spends more time and money on marketing than on flavor. A suffering brand can afford to give away millions of units for free. You know why? Because they’re making money hand over fist, and they’re making money from you. You don’t see it because you’re looking at quantity over quality. Sure! You can buy a 30-pack of Bud for the same price as a six-pack of some craft beers. So.. what.. you think you’re getting away with something? I’m here to tell you, it’s because they use ingredients in craft beer.
Have you ever sat back and thought about how much money Bud is spending on marketing campaigns? Tens of millions of dollars on Superbowl commercials alone. That’s more money spent in 3 hours of advertising than 99% of craft beer manufacturers will see over years and years of sales. So with all that money outflow on marketing, packaging, shipping, and giant cardboard cutouts of whatever NASCAR driver they’re sponsoring this year, how much can they possibly be spending on quality ingredients? Not a whole hell of a lot. To me? That equals Not Very Good Beer. You make a sandwich with shitty ingredients, you get a shitty sandwich. Beer is no different.
So, when I’m getting something for free that they didn’t spend very much money making (but a lot of money advertising) I’m supposed to MAN UP and like it? MAN UP, IT’S SHITTY AND CHEAP! YEAH!
You, sir, are a fucking rock star.
MAN UP, THEY’RE FREEBIES!
MAN UP, IT’S APPLEBEES!
MAN UP AND SHOP FOR DEALS ON QVC!
When did we get to a point where liking nice things was indicative of being a pussy? Wow, yeah, I have discriminating taste and like to enjoy the foods and beverages that I consume, that must mean I’m an idiot.
Here’s mine:Â Man up and pay for quality.
Comment all you want, I’m not reading any more.Â Just the articles from now on.Â Really.
(Though I’ll probably look at the pictures, too.)