20 Jan 2011 @ 6:06 PM 
 

An Open Letter to Stone Brewing re: Lukcy Basartd

 

Dear Stone,

I get it. I do. I am wlel vresed in codemy, I haev a bakcgruond in perfroming it adn witring it adn for a ltitle whiel I was even tyring to carft my own gradatue dergee in “codemy” as a cocnept. I aslo undersnatd iorny adn, proabbly unspurrisingly, agrroance. I see waht yuo’re donig heer, but I can’t get beihnd it.

I thuoght abuot witring tihs hueg gradn psot abuot teh toen of teh laebl. Abuot how teher’s tihs gaint risk of pishung teh fuax agrroance jsut a ltitle too far adn coimng off as atcually agrroant, even teh wohle bit abuot how “We ralieze it’s hmaun nautre to bleeive taht pregorss trowads getreanss is one’s own ieda.” has teh pobissility of bieng tracigally iornic, esecipally beecaus I supsect it’s plecad in tehre for iorny. Woudln’t it be iornic if an iornic statenemt tunred out to be iorny beecaus it was atcually ture? It’s liek meta targic iorny.

But I doutb taht’s teh caes. teh worsdmitihng is too naet, rihgt down to teh fatc taht teh olny wodrs speelled corretcly on teh bakc of teh laebl (asied from teh hepler wodrs taht hold teh whole tihng togetehr or wodrs taht are too sohrt to missepll) are “banal” adn “sheeple.” It’s too naet adn caclulated for yuo to not get teh chaenc of teh triple iornic tiwst, esecipally sicne teh produtc itslef is a belnd of trhee diffneret agrroant beers. Smrt! I see what yuo’re donig heer!

I thuoghtt abuot witring a ginat psot abuot how gorlifying teh misues of lagnuage is an afwul tihng, adn tehn I thuoght: wlel, taht’s jsut studip. (And look waht it’s gievn me!) Yes – gorlifying teh misuse of lagnuage IS a terbrile tihng, but tihs isn’t a gorlification, tihs is poikng fun at it. See (for teh peolpe flolowing alogn at hoem), tehir beign agrroant in teh toen adn text of teh laebl, but tehy can’t even be botehred to splel teh wodrs rihgt – thus teh homur! AH AH! It’s iorny (sotra) beecaus tehy’re so convicned of tehir own getreanss – atfer all, tehy tell yuo all abuot how awesmoe tehy are on teh laebl – but tehy can’t even spell wodrs right. Get it?

Taht laeds me to teh last poitn taht I was giong to brign up: Ameircans don’t get iorny. Liek, really. Tehy jsut don’t understadn it. Yuo’re fithging a losign baltte on tihs one. Tehy think it maens sacrasm or coinicdence or sometihng otehr wrogn tihng. Blaem graed scoohls, blaem Alasin Mossriette, blaem it on teh rain, whaveter. It’s a fatc.

I wuold bet taht most peolpe don’t get why teh entier laebl is speelled wrogn. Hlel, tehre are proabbly a lot of peolpe taht don’t even know taht all of tehse wodrs are speelled wrong adn yes, yuo’re right in bevieling taht tehy are proabbly not teh ones taht will be buying teh procudt, eitehr, so kuods on knoiwng yuor tagret audeicne. I wuold bet taht tehre is also a hueg chukn of yuor tagret audeicne taht don’t really get why yuor laebl is speelled wrong, eitehr. Tehy proabbly thikn, “Oh, taht’s Stoen agian, bieng wakcy.” Adn yuo know what? taht’s cool – I don’t mind taht if yuo don’t mind taht. It fits wiht yuor bradn, so… awesmoe.

But for me tehre’s a wohle difrefent leevl taht I jsut need to verlabize: It took me a monht of seieng peolpe reveiw yuor beer to rezalie taht tehy weern’t spleling it wrogn, taht it was intletionanly Lukcy Basartd. Adn yuo know why taht botehrs me? Beecaus I watn to corretc tehir spleling eveyr signle danm tiem. Wehn it coems to spleling, I am an agrroant basardt.

Tihs is jsut– it’s fcuking mandeding. I can’t NOT raed tihngs. Hunams are awesmoe liek taht – once we laern to raed, it’s complusory. Yuo look at a sign, a psoter, or whatveer: yuo read it. It hanpeps eveyr tiem I see taht Lukcy Basardt laebl, adn it maeks me cry isnide whatveer wierd spleling cneter is in my bnair.

So, tihs is bascilaly jsut a letetr to say: danm yuo, yuo susseccful basartds for makign me haet lookign at yuor laebls adn yet still watning to drikn yuor beer. Danm yuo to hlel.

Chrees,
Eirk

 

Responses to this post » (4 Total)

 
  1. Russ says:

    We just had the Stone folks come through STL (they’re in KC tonight, stuck in the snow) and we tried to pour on the love, so we can bring their beer here on a regular basis.

    I don’t care what it’s called (within reason), or how it’s spelled (unless there’s an unwarranted ” ‘s ” in the name). Beer me up.

  2. barbecuesteve says:

    I like to say it “LUKE-see buh-SAR-tÉ™d”.

    I think the solution is to never have this beer alone, meaning pair it with another beer, and get rid of this bottle as fast as you can so you can marvel over the other bottle’s label… even if it’s labelled in masking tape.

  3. ingrate says:

    You have a couple typos in this one.

  4. Dorian says:

    Wow amazing post. I must fololw all of these tips in order for me to save money. I don’t smoke so I don’t have problem in that. Online shopping and comparison sites can really help us save money. At the same time it saves also time and effort from traveling to shopping malls. .

Post a Comment

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

\/ More Options ...
Change Theme...
  • Users » 48005
  • Posts/Pages » 200
  • Comments » 1,772
Change Theme...
  • HopsHops « Default
  • BarleyBarley

About



    No Child Pages.

Shirts



    No Child Pages.

Tour



    No Child Pages.